More Time or Better Moments?

I imagine I’m not the only one who thinks about time and wishes I had more of it. I know I don’t have less time than anyone else, but sometimes it really feels like I do or at least less than I would like. Maybe it’s an art to manage it well or maybe I simply have too many wishes.

Science tells us that time feels slower when we’re bored, depressed, lonely or rejected none of which I would choose to seek out. And we all know the expression about happy times:

The happier the time, the shorter it seems.

In my mind, there are so many things in life that are fun, interesting or simply necessary both in my career and in my personal life. But the fact is, there’s only one of me. I know about the 24 hours. I know everyone has the same amount of time. But still, I want more.

More time to learn new things. More time to spend with friends. More time to dance, to swim in the ocean, to watch the sunrise. Yes, the sunrise. I’m a morning person and I love those early, crisp mornings when the world feels quiet and full of possibility. With that said, I wouldn’t say no to a beautiful sunset either.

This image is from a conference with my network of freelancers here on the west coast. We spent the days working on our own projects, learning new skills and having conversations about everything and nothing, from work to life in general. It was such a great experience, a perfect mix of time spent together and time for our own projects and thoughts. Time went by fast.

So what choices do we have if we want “more” time? Be bored? That doesn’t sound right.

We can try to optimize our lives like athletes track everything, squeeze out inefficiencies and cut away the “non-essential”. Sleep less. Stop lingering in the evenings. Always be productive.

But is that really the way to go? Or is the real answer not about getting more time, but about choosing it more carefully?

When I started writing this, I was on a train on my way home after a fantastic weekend with my mother. On the way there, I didn’t write a single thing. I didn’t code or work. I didn’t do anything “useful”. I read a book and not the kind where you learn something practical, but the kind where you drift into a fantasy world and let time disappear. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself, it’s this. I need that kind of time, it is quality of life.

Maybe time doesn’t expand just because we squeeze more into it. Maybe it expands in hindsight through memories, presence and moments that felt real while we were in them.

I say I want more time. But maybe what I really want is more depth in the time I already have. Because there’s only one of me, the same both at work and in my spare time and there are only 24 hours. Perhaps the art isn’t getting more, but choosing fully and consciously what is worth my hours.

So instead of asking how I can get more time, maybe the better question is:

What do I want my time to feel like when I look back at it?

Time may be equal for all of us but the way we fill it and the way we remember it never is. What do you want your time to feel like?